Refuel your love tank

Love is like a glass of water, every time we spent it out, it takes us energy to consume the water. The more you spent, the faster the water goes out. Until a point that all water is gone, your love is empty and you feel so difficult to love again. Therefore, we have to keep refuelling the water in order to keep our love going.

Yet, when you are thirsty, you drink more than what you need to consume in normal situation. When you are deeply in love with somebody, you give out all of your heart loving them and spend all of your energy on him. If either one of you in the relationship fails to devote as much as the others, love loses balance and the water will consume faster than the rate it is refilled. When all the water goes out, our heart is empty and it is difficult for us to spend love again. Many of us, me included, are afraid and tired to get into another relationship because we have no “love energy” to keep us to fall into another person. We are so passive to refill our love tank because we are afraid to get hurt again if we pour the water into the glass again.

“In a long-distance flight, a jet has to refuel.”

After my last relationship failed, my love glass is so empty, which is just like a desert with nothing can grow there. I started to occupy myself with different activities because I could stop my brain and heart for a moment when I kept myself busy. True, I developed a lot of new habits which are really good for me. However, these activities take me so much energy. My time is so packed that I do not even have time to rest and let my mind to be stable for a while, and I have no energy to refuel my desert-like love tank. My energy tank is consuming at a rate faster than it restore.Imagine someone flying a jet saying, “I don’t need to refuel!” The jet would crash and burn. In a long-distance flight, a jet has to refuel.  In this healing journey, it is a long battle which requires a lot of energy to overcome different  obstacles. We should not force ourselves to reach our maximum in the early stage and then we will be so strengthless to deal with the temptations later on. And all of you know, devil always attack us in the weakest time, we should always get ourselves refreshed and charge ourselves back to the highest energy level whenever we start to lose balance.

“Love never gives up, never losses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstances” – 13:7 1 Corinthians. Whenever my energy level is being restored, then I have to ability to refuel my love tank back to the normal level, and believes that love is gonna work in my life again.

 

Accountable Partner(s)

 

Finding an accountable partner actually is more difficult than find a life long partner. A good accountable partner can help you grow, can make you become matter and most importantly, can make help you strengthen your faith and thoughts and let go of all the negative emotions. It is not just someone whom you love to hang out with, someone who entertain you in your good times, a responsible accountable partner can bring you satisfaction from inside to outside, allowing you to become a better person.

“Be friend with people who are close to your heart, not just physically close to you”

There are a lot of temptation in our life and a lot of people who are “fun” to hang out with. They persuade you to have a crazy night out, forgetting all the sadness happened in your work, seduce you to get addict to a lot of bad habits. However, after that slight moment of happiness, you will even feel more painful than before because the root of the problem remain unfixed. But what “King David was alone the evening that Satan tempted him into adultery with Bathsheba” – (2 Samuel 11). The Bible tells us we fight a war not of flesh but of the spirit, “against powers and spiritual forces who threaten us”-  (Ephesians 6:12).  In the toughest time in your life, there are a lot of devils appear around you, and this is the most vulnerable time that you will fall into the enemies’ trap. Because change in spirit in you heart is tough and we tend to seek an easy way out to temporarily make us relieved. In contrary, your toughest moment in your life maybe a moment when you can restart yourself completely, given that you find good accountable partner(s).

“God can give you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the difficulties”

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” Being the right people around you, surround yourself with accountable people can make you grow faster than you expected. It is because we can share the same goal together and one falls down, the other will bring him/her up. Most importantly, it’s who is close to your heart. There is no one who can understand you more than our Father does, he knows all your past and knows what you are suffering. He listens, and directs you in a way that is good for you. He gives you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the challenges ahead and helps you stay away from all the temptations.“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13).

What is accountability?

Accountability is a helping-each-other-out sort of relationship where we help each other achieve goals by asking the question, “Did you do what you said you would do?” Or in the case of breaking a habit–did you not do what you said you wouldn’t do?With Christian accountability, the goals are often related to our relationship with God and others: doing something (or not doing something) so we can love God and others better.

When you found accountable partner(s), you can feel like it is better than any other friends you have. We work out together, know God together, try something new together and any other things that can make us become a better one. When either one of us are falling out of track, we will use his wisdoms to pull me back on right track. This is how we call good accountable partner(s)!

My favourite verses these days,

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

If you found an accountable partner, he/she is just like a mirror of you!

Action speaks louder than words

Beautiful words are attractive, and sometimes clouded our eyes and our heart. “I Love You” is such a powerful sentence but how many people can really live up to the meaning of that? It is not difficult for us to say a hundred times of “I Love You”, but it is difficult for us to carry out every action to show that “I Love You”.

With the invention of different App (e.g. Facebook, whatsapp…), people tend to share many of their thoughts and feeling in this virtual platform without a concrete physical connection with people. We become so afraid to express love to the person we care in face and so worried about speaking up for our opinions in public. There are a lot of people, shared a lot of articles and their points of view in social media, expressing how disappointing we are to the society but how many of us really take our belief into action? Influencing power is not only consist of powerful words, what’s more important is what you are doing to fight for what you believe. Action speaks louder than words, people always “tell” people what they want to do, but not many of them can bring them into action.

“Influencing power starts by building your behaviour”

In order to bring influences to others, we should start to change our own behaviour first. Think about when you ask people not to play phone during dinner, but you keep looking at your phone and upload different posts, how convincing does it sound like? Nobody is gonna follow what you said. Instead, if we are responsible for our own action, people around you can feel your change and start to follow you. Maybe it doesn’t work for one time, but eventually if our positive behaviour is consistent, people around you will listen to you one day. Your action is actually more influencing than what you speak, people will be impressed if you are behaving in a good way. Who don’t want to be better off, if they see what you are doing can make themselves be a better person, I guess everyone will take a lead to change.

“Change needs action ” 

Change of behaviour takes courage and determination, when your faith is not sufficient, your action will not be consistent. One month ago, by coincidence, I bumped into an old friend S, whom we actually have not been contacted for a year. My friend and I were quite interested where her positive energy came from and why she could always be so energetic. Especially during the low time in my life, at that moment, I really do need some positive energy to influence my life. And then she shared a little about her faith journey with God and her community in church that brought her energy and faith. She invited me and my friend to Alpha to have a look, to understand more about christianity and receive blessing from God. At that time, I would give myself any chance to make myself move on from the darkness and I felt like it is not bad to give it a try. Since then, my connection with God is kept strengthening.

“You can change anything if your faith is strong enough”

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” – James 4:7.This belief made me realise a lot of cracks that happened in my life, which is far more than I imagined. And in order to heal those cracks, we have to throw away our old bad habit and pick up new one. In these two to three weeks, I really do take away many of my old habits and replace them with new ones. In the past, I filled my leisure time with having dinner with my friends after work, finding people to drink on friday night or weekend, watching different dramas which are no value-added to me. True, these activities can bring instant enjoyment or happiness to me, but after a period of time, we feel even emptier and lonelier. Why I felt like that before? The reason is we are so empty inside and there is no faith and determination to keep us feel rich inside. In order to move on and get myself to become a better one,  I start to pick up regular exercises every week after work, cut off alcohol and those drinking parties, read more books, go to church and write blog everyday. Surprisingly, these changes make me to become positive in mind and I become so peaceful at my alone time. Many of my friends are so surprised that why I did not go out for partying or have a chill drink after work, and then they asked about the reason behind. I understood that those enjoyment are not helping me in my healing journey, instead, they will make me even more painful. And what driven me to be such determined, it’s my faith on God. Without him, I am not sure if I can really persist for so long because CHANGE need a lot of strength, it is something easier to say but hundred times difficult to do it.

“Change by changing yourself first”

When you are living up to what you said, your action can actually influence the people around you. Instead of “telling” people around you what is christianity, how about we strengthen ourselves with strong faith and positive mind first, the real changes by your action speaks louder than you fancy beautiful words for thousands of time. When you can influence your friend, then your friend will pass the message to others, and one follow by one till the message and wisdom is spread in spider-net. Don’t under estimate your influencing power, cause when spider webs unit, they can tie up a lion!

 

Be Responsible For Every Decision

“People tend to wait to see if there is better alternative”

Through creating an event in facebook, people can choose to “go”,”not go” or “maybe” to an event. And it is quite surprising that the box “maybe” is being chosen the most among the others. What do you mean by “maybe” going ? It is like something you want to do it but it is not yet at your first priority, you want to wait to see if there is any other better choices later.

It is easy for us to find that when people are asking for gathering in many whatsapp groups , people’s responses are always like “not sure”, “may be okay” or “dont count me first, maybe available later”… and other excuses. However, when we really want to make ourselves to a gathering, we will try our best to arrange the time to go instead of giving uncertain answer or even ditch the group. One of the reason is people do not place the gathering/meet up in their first priority at that moment, and they want to see if there is any other alternatives which are better than the gathering, and then they will ditch the group meet up. Actually, if you really do not want to attend, we can simply tell your friends that you will not attend, and then your friends will not be disappointed.

“Your image is built on your action”

This delayed decision making affect our daily life and relationship with people around us too. There were a period of time, I tend to date different friends for gathering or agree to attend different events. I often promised to be there but didn’t really look into my calendar first or think of if I really want to be there. It turns out many of them are actually time-clashed, which means I have to forgive some of them that I have made my promise to go before. I felt sorry about rescheduling my friend’s date because I had to attend another which I think it was more important, this act was actually a terrible one. Not only my friend feel unhappy for the changed plan, but also make myself an irresponsible image.

“You are what you behave”

After knowing more about God, I realised that when we are responsible for the decision we made, then we can be more responsible to ourselves. Sometimes we ditched friend’s gathering because of many reasons like “I am so tired today”, “I forgot I had company event”. True, it is super easy for us to not doing something than keeping our own promises because keeping our own promise needs faith and strength. “You are what you behave”, your personal image is reflected by the action we took in our daily life. When you understand that your irresponsible action will actually result in bringing negative impact (disappointment) to others, that we won’t easily change our plan thereafter. When we can live up to what we said /promised, not only can we be responsible for others, bus also YOURSELF.

“Think before you promise”

When you promised something, please do it no matter how difficult it is. When we know that what we promised is far more than we can do it, next time you will make a wise choice or think more before you come to a decision. “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8. Therefore, think twice before you come to make a decision and be responsible to every decision you made, as this is the way that you are responsible for yourself.

 

Overcome Loneliness

With the invention of smart phone, social media has started to invade everybody’s life. Ask yourself, when is the last time you browse facebook and instagram? The average time people in the world spend on facebook is 40 minutes a day! And now, ask yourself how much time you spent on talking to your family or update the  status of your friends today? It is quite funny that we use more time spending on a dead object than with the living object around us, who actually deserve more of our attention than anything else.

It is not difficult when you present in a party or event, people are busy in using whatsapp, updating instagram and checking in on facebook. The caption of those posts on social media are often like “It’s so good to hangout with my friends….”, “chilling out with friends..” or “Friday night with my girls are awesome!….”. What do these posts sound like to you? They look like those author were enjoying so much in their dinner date, and they are always having fun with the different groups of friend. However, in some cases, they are not enjoying the party at all!

WHY those people have to create a myth that they are happy in those parties?

The answer is simple, it is because they are so lonely inside. With social media start invading our life, people start to share all sort of things happened in their daily life. Also, we are also very keen on seeing how our friend living in their life. Eventually, people get used to capture the moment they had in their life, and immediately upload on social media, in the hope of getting as much “likes” from their friends. This is where comparison begins. In order to get as much “likes” as possible, they start to use half of the meet up time to take good photos to be posted on social media. We start to crave for popularity on this  virtual platform, and spend more and more time in building our “fame community”. Some people feel even emptier than before because they start to compare their life with the myth created by their friends. The more they browse on facebook, the more the loneliness the experienced. This excessive use of social media limit the time we spent on the “real person” sitting just next to you, who are people you should pay attention to.

For those people who try to  gain confident and faith from social media are so empty and lonely deep down in their heart. They feel so confident in sharing their feelings online than offline because they find their identity on social media. For time goes by, the use of social media encourages us to isolate ourselves from the reality, escaping all the things that we should face by ourselves. I understand that people will feel comfortable when they care about someone without talking directly to them because we are so afraid that our love will be ignored and our care will be denied. Don’t be afraid! Love is everywhere around you when you open your heart to feel it.

Please put down your phone and spend 15 minutes in watching this video and start to feel the love around you.

 

ForGIVE to forGET

“I forgive what you did”, it may be hardest sentence to be said in the world. Forgiveness is easy to say but hard to do, and it is not just a word to be spoken out, but an act to be felt in your heart. In most of the time, unforgiving a person makes us even feel more tragic because this feeling is gonna hinges on you mentally.

Try to look at the these two words again in this perspective, “for-GIVE” and “for-GET”,

for-Give: Give a chance for your enemies to be forgiven

for-Get: Get a new life and new heart after forgiving someone

First step in giving chance for forgiveness is heart, it requires a lot of mental strength and determination to do so. When someone did so much things to break you down, it is very hard for us to give them the chance to be forgiven.

WHY we are so reluctant to forgive someone?

Because sometimes we wrongly interpret the meaning of “forgiveness”. Many of us, me included, believe that forgiving someone means that we agree with their values and kind of encouraging them to do the wrong things on us again. Since we know that their values are wrong and what they did on us are terrible, we would not give them a chance to be forgiven. However, forgiveness is way more than that. We forgive someone for all the bad things they did on us do not mean that we agree with their behaviour, but learning how to love someone unconditionally.

“To be a christian means to forgive the inexcusable because GOD has forgiven the inexcusable YOU” 

Definitely, it is easier to say it than to work it out. It takes a very strong heart with a good mental strength to truly forgive someone from your heart, not from your mouth. First two weeks after I broke up, I felt so angry and I swore I would never forgive what he did on me. This extreme thinking actually causes much trouble on my mental health, I put so much energy in hating this guy, digging out all his bad doings to me and eventually put myself in a very dangerous situation – emotional breakdown.

“Forgive others not only because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve PEACE”

In recent two weeks, I am getting closer with GOD and receiving more wisdom taught by him. I understand that forgiveness is a powerful act, it can bring your heart to a very peaceful state. “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”            – Col. 3:13. When we have the ability to forgive someone from your heart who bring wounds to us, we are getting to know how to really LOVE yourself in a good way. And after that, all the negative emotions will vanish and good things can enter into our heart eventually. he Lord says, “Forget what happened before and do not think about the past. I am going to do something new… I will make rivers on dry land.” Isaiah 43:18-19 (GW)

Excuses Are Unbecoming

In the past 24 hours, how many excuses we had made for not doing something? And how many times you felt disappointed because about somebody’s excuses? “Sorry I cant today, because my sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died.” It sounds ridiculous to you right? And yes, it is tragic. Sometimes you are as funny as this example of creating an excuse for yourself and to the people around you.

“Excuses are the easy way out to ignore all the responsibilities”

There are two types of person in the world, 99% of people tend to seek excuses when they face challenges or difficulties about why they cannot do it. The remaining 1% will seek for any possibilities in making things happen. For those 1%, they are the successful person in the society because they never avoid the problem, instead, they overcome it with courage and determination.

#1. You make excuses because you don’t take things seriously

It is an easy way for us to make an excuse about why we fail to do something and why they cannot do something. Simple as going back to work on time, which many people fail to do so because they said their boss and colleagues wont be there early, so they can get back to work a little bit late. Why we will make such excuses of being at work late? It is because we do not really care about if people get back work late. In contrary, if you are having a very important interview today, people generally arrive 15 minutes in advance because they think it is important.

“If it is important to you, you will find a way, if not you will find an excuse”

Same case applies to relationship, if you really do care about someone, you will take everything happen between you two seriously, even just a tiny thing. It is because you do not want to let the people whom you love feel disappointed upon you and you will try every way to make things happen. If the relationship is not important to you, people will give themselves excuses of not doing this, not doing that, in the hope of convincing themselves they are not so bad to you because the excuses rationalise their behaviour.

#2. You make excuses because you are so afraid to face the problem

“Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen.”

“Incline not my heart to evil words; to make excuses in sins. With men that work iniquity: and I will not communicate with the choicest of them” – Psalm 141:4. In addition to not taking account of the things we are facing, making excuses is a good way for you to rationalise your behaviour, even if it is a wrong one. Overcome difficulties and challenges take courage and a lot of hard work, not many of us can have the faith to take initiatives to a CHANGE. Imagine the road in front of you have a large rock, it is actually easier for you to choose the road next to you or going backwards than removing the stone in front of you as removing the stone take you so much strength to it.

“Excuses are lies wrapped up in reasons”

In my last relationship, my ex always rationalise why he failed to commit in the relationship and why he could make things happen. I was totally clouded by all the non sense excuses because I was badly affected by him, in a case that I started to accept maybe it was my problem to ask for too much from him. His excuses made me keep questioning about my values and belief, and every time I would be convinced by him. Eventually, before he told me his excuses, I started to help him think of a list of excuses of why he failed to do a lot of things in the relationship because I was afraid to face the problem behind – he was not actually care that much about me. These excuses made us feel better, in his perspective, he wanted to make himself not bad enough; in my perspective, I wanted to create a picture that he still loved me. Until a point I was so sick of his excuses and tried to admit the fact that our love walked till the end,  and at that moment, the cloud in my eyes were cleared. Then I recalled things happened between us, I felt myself like a fool believing all sorts of ridiculous excuses and explanation. “Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things”. – Romans 2:1

Quality Time, Quality People, Quality Life

“Stop Spending Quality Time With Unqualified People”

Everyone have different interpretation about “quality time”, and I believe there are a lot of people think that they have quality time with quality people, but it turns out their life are so pathetic and empty. Most of them quantify quality life with physical assets, believing themselves living in a quality life with all sorts of enjoyment. Quality life composes of a lot of elements but never will physical enjoyment be one of the factor.

“Quality People leads to quality time, resulting quality life”

There is no hard definition about what is “Quality Time”, but for one thing that I can sure about is that quality time is something to make your inner side feel spiritually rich. Before you can achieve a quality life, quality time is a prerequisite factor which is driven but a catalyst “Quality People”

Who are “Quality people”? 

In nowadays society, it is easy for us the equalise “quality” this word with “money” and “wealth”.That segment of people are very materialistic, they think that they spend time with someone who are useful in their career is the quality time because they can bring them physical enjoyment and increase their social status. After they successfully pursue wealth and fame, many of them feel so empty in their heart, maybe even more empty than before. “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5. God is the most qualified people to stay in our life because he gives us faith, holds us back from sin and makes us feel rich. Give yourself to god and you can receive all the wisdom, which can fill our heart with blessings and faith.

“Before I used to be afraid of being alone. Now, I’m afraid of having the wrong people as company”

Quality people are someone who can let you grow, strengthen your faith, walk in the same pace as you and also with God. They can walk through difficult path with you, bring positive influence over you, and most importantly, make your inner self spiritually rich. When you are spiritually rich, there is nothing in this world can attack you, and never will you surrender to temptation from evil. Even when you are staying alone, you feel yourself so satisfied because we are rich from inside to outside. In contrary, when you stay with unqualified people, they will inculcate wrong values to your soul, make yourself diminishing and ultimately make you feel even emptier than before as the darkness will  encroach ourselves from outside to inside.

When you are wise enough to choose your “quality company”, it is not difficult for you to have quality time. Because whenever you are with these quality people, you are having quality time. Quality time is the simplest love language in a relationship with your loved ones and most importantly – YOURSELF.

Comfort Zone may kill you

” People feel good to stay in their comfort zone, and aim at bringing others to their zone”

People, me included, feel good to stay in our comfort zone for most of the time. In this zone, we can be exactly who we are and nobody is gonna judge and against you. Sometimes we know that staying in zone is harmful to us, but it takes so much effort and strength to jump out of this zone. We hesitate, we struggle and in most cases we choose to stay inside the zone because it just makes you feel so comfortable. Even if they know that there is a big beautiful and promising world outside the zone where magic is gonna happen there, they just feel so reluctant to CHANGE. You may ask why people are so stupid that they let go of a forest and hold on a dying tree in their life? It’s because in order to step out of the comfort zone, you need a very strong belief to hold on the process of CHANGE.

“It is so easy to pull someone down then to bring someone up”

Sometimes, because we feel so good in staying in our comfort zone, and this sort of “belief” will affect the people around them. They will try to pull people to get inside their comfort zone, and make them adapt their values and belief. As they are so afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone to seek for new possibilities, they will try very hard to destroy you and “reshape” your values to become theirs. Until a moment when you no longer distinguish what are you believing because we are totally manipulated by them already. It is so easy to pull someone down then to bring someone up, that is why there are a lot evils around us try to make us to make consensus with them.

This is applicable for love, work, friendship and everything that happen in your life. Soon after I graduated from university, I took a job offer to company S. After first month of work, I actually knew that this is not the company that I wanna stay because I felt so lost when working there. I had to abandoned all the values and belief that I held for years in order to shape myself in that working culture. However, I kept telling myself to hold on and maybe few months later I might feel in love with this job. Month after month, things just did not get better, but I was so afraid to step out of my comfort zone to seek for new opportunities, because I got my good friends there, I felt so tired to get myself prepared to interviews and job hunting. I totally knew that the road I chose was killing myself in my heart, diminishing “me” in my heart and letting go a lot of values and belief that I used to believe. Until a point I felt myself cannot even live in that comfort zone anymore, then I started to seek for new opportunities. I took a year to leave my comfort zone which at the beginning if I was strong enough to let go of what I held, I would have saved a year to get my flourishing future.

When you give yourself to God, believing he can give you all the strength in every stage of your life, and keep your heart always open, then he will give all the strength you needed in pursuing a better future by stepping out from your comfort zone.

Self Control

“If you learn self control, you can master anything”

Life is full of temptation which aim at pulling us back from the right path, and especially when we lose self control, seduction from devil will encroach our whole life. This encroachment make us lose the correct judgement of deciding what is right and what is wrong. What can make us stay away from all sorts of temptation in life? SELF CONTROL.

Self control is way more than mastering our physical act, most importantly, it can master our belief and strengthen ourselves from inside to outside. When people have strong self control over their belief, their action will reflect how strong their self control is. As long as people can master what they feel inside, their life are unbeatable. As a result, physical action is just a result from the level of our self control.

“It is easy to destroy something than to build things up”

In the past few years, I easily lost self control over my emotion and there were a lot of temptation in my life bringing me to emotional breakdown. For years, whenever I got sober or drunk, my emotion fluctuated a lot, I cried and felt so depressed about my life. And then when I woke up another day, I had serious hangover and my mood was badly affected by the triggered emotion. I tried to cut down the consumption of alcohol, but my belief was so weak that every time I surrendered from temptation. Few weeks after I broke up, I felt like I was moving on in a good way and started to let him get away from my life, but whenever I got drunk, I missed him terribly and wanted to find him so much. This triggered emotion just simply destroyed all the efforts I spent on helping myself move on, and pull me back to the dark corner, struggling in the dark.

“It is difficult to get rid of bad habit, but when you did that, you feel awesome!”

In these two weeks, I start to receive god wisdom from my sisters and I have a new insight on how to make a better self control. Before you control yourself from doing something, we have to understand the ultimate goal and potential hazard of that action. I witness myself a great change when I start strengthening my own belief in controlling my emotions. I promised to myself cut off consumption of alcohol because I truly understand that this will bring me to a devastated situation which restrict me from moving on to a brand new life. And yesterday, I felt so proud of myself that I did that! In my friend’s birthday party, I just drank a bottle of beer and nothing else. In the past, in such kind of parties, I would have drunk so much and sometimes get drunk. At that moment, my mind was so strong and it told me to stay away from the alcohol because it would definitely drag you to hell and wasted all the efforts I spent over the weeks in strengthening myself. I finally understand that when the belief in my mind is strong enough, my action will reflect what my mind thinks.

As a result, in order to facilitate my level of self-control, I have made a list which I should do to help me move on.

1. Cut off consumption of alcohol
2. Avoid night life
3. Restrict myself from going to LKF area
4. Be responsible for my plan

I will keep updating the list after I can master first step of self control. Healing is a long journey, it is not easy, but I will try very hard to get myself back to right track.

“Six Letters, Two words, Easy to say, Hard to explain, Harder to do: MOVE ON”