Excuses Are Unbecoming

In the past 24 hours, how many excuses we had made for not doing something? And how many times you felt disappointed because about somebody’s excuses? “Sorry I cant today, because my sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died.” It sounds ridiculous to you right? And yes, it is tragic. Sometimes you are as funny as this example of creating an excuse for yourself and to the people around you.

“Excuses are the easy way out to ignore all the responsibilities”

There are two types of person in the world, 99% of people tend to seek excuses when they face challenges or difficulties about why they cannot do it. The remaining 1% will seek for any possibilities in making things happen. For those 1%, they are the successful person in the society because they never avoid the problem, instead, they overcome it with courage and determination.

#1. You make excuses because you don’t take things seriously

It is an easy way for us to make an excuse about why we fail to do something and why they cannot do something. Simple as going back to work on time, which many people fail to do so because they said their boss and colleagues wont be there early, so they can get back to work a little bit late. Why we will make such excuses of being at work late? It is because we do not really care about if people get back work late. In contrary, if you are having a very important interview today, people generally arrive 15 minutes in advance because they think it is important.

“If it is important to you, you will find a way, if not you will find an excuse”

Same case applies to relationship, if you really do care about someone, you will take everything happen between you two seriously, even just a tiny thing. It is because you do not want to let the people whom you love feel disappointed upon you and you will try every way to make things happen. If the relationship is not important to you, people will give themselves excuses of not doing this, not doing that, in the hope of convincing themselves they are not so bad to you because the excuses rationalise their behaviour.

#2. You make excuses because you are so afraid to face the problem

“Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen.”

“Incline not my heart to evil words; to make excuses in sins. With men that work iniquity: and I will not communicate with the choicest of them” – Psalm 141:4. In addition to not taking account of the things we are facing, making excuses is a good way for you to rationalise your behaviour, even if it is a wrong one. Overcome difficulties and challenges take courage and a lot of hard work, not many of us can have the faith to take initiatives to a CHANGE. Imagine the road in front of you have a large rock, it is actually easier for you to choose the road next to you or going backwards than removing the stone in front of you as removing the stone take you so much strength to it.

“Excuses are lies wrapped up in reasons”

In my last relationship, my ex always rationalise why he failed to commit in the relationship and why he could make things happen. I was totally clouded by all the non sense excuses because I was badly affected by him, in a case that I started to accept maybe it was my problem to ask for too much from him. His excuses made me keep questioning about my values and belief, and every time I would be convinced by him. Eventually, before he told me his excuses, I started to help him think of a list of excuses of why he failed to do a lot of things in the relationship because I was afraid to face the problem behind – he was not actually care that much about me. These excuses made us feel better, in his perspective, he wanted to make himself not bad enough; in my perspective, I wanted to create a picture that he still loved me. Until a point I was so sick of his excuses and tried to admit the fact that our love walked till the end,  and at that moment, the cloud in my eyes were cleared. Then I recalled things happened between us, I felt myself like a fool believing all sorts of ridiculous excuses and explanation. “Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things”. – Romans 2:1