How long have you not felt your heart beating vigorously on someone or something? Can you still remember how great it is when you feel passionate on something, your whole body is filled with energy and satisfaction? Or have you shut your heart down after you get hurt? (I did) And after we shut the door of our heart, we prevent any emotion from walk into our heart, because it is better to feel no emotion than feeling painful in the heart.
There must be a moment when you feel like you are shattered, and your heart is broken into thousands of pieces and you feel so strengthless to pick up all the pieces back to one. Few weeks ago, my heart was in broken pieces, I felt so painful that I cannot even function normally. To make myself feel a little bit better, I stopped my heart from beating, to avoid it to get hurt again. I began to lost interest in many things, lose passion in my work and lose connection with the world. Everyday after work, I rushed back home immediately, shut myself in the room and cried for whole night. I could cry when I took bus back home, I could cry when I was watching comedy, I could cry when I was having dinner. Your tears just came out automatically from your eyes, they are like the blood from the shattered heart. Honestly, it made me feel even worse, because I felt like my whole world was collapsed and I could never go back to be the “happy” me again, I could never love someone and being loved again. But somehow, sadness has an addiction, you just cannot stop yourself from torturing yourself mentally like this and it made you feel like it is the end of the world.
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD” – Psalm 31:24
By coincidence, I went to a church group on a Monday night and I still remembered the topic that night was “healing night”. At that moment, I realised that I need to be “healed” because my heart was so broken. And I made my prayer again lead by sister J after leaving, I felt my heart is connected when J touched my hand and pray. My heart felt so peaceful and at that time being, I knew that I should not stuck in the past anymore and all I need is to move on a new life, and be a better me. Since then, I start opening my door of heart bit by bit, my heart starts to beat again. When blood is gonna circulate through my body again, I have energy and motive in my life again. I start to put everything pack to pieces again, even better, I want to make it a stronger heart than before. I give my heart to our Father God, let him guide me through my healing process and allow him to live in my heart to give me courage and faith to overcome all the obstacles ahead. Whenever I feel strengthless, I pray that he can give me strength to keep going. He always gives us hope when we feel hopeless, give us courage when we feel weak and embrace us with his love when we feel lonely.
This is my favourite song these days, to anyone whose heart are broken before or now and get your heart BEAT again!
“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your good
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again
marryyourselfyhm 