Is the glass half empty or half full?

The expression “Is the glass half-full or half-empty?..” has for many years highlighted the tendency for two people to see the same situation in different ways. Which way you see the water level reach reflects what is your attitude towards things. Yet, for most of us, we see things in permissive way, we only see the cup is 1/2 empty instead of it is 1/2 full.

Imagine the cup is our energy, when you feel like you cup is 1/2 empty that your energy is halved in this case, you will feel yourself so tired to do anything because you are focus at the consumption of energy and you are diminishing. In contrary, when you feel like the cup is 1/2 full, you see the space to be filled with energy. In such case, you can see that yourself is getting better and growing stronger. The way of thinking actually affect what action we take. After I just broke up, it really seemed like the end of world for me and I was so reluctant to do anything. I just wanted to stay alone and lock myself in my own world and crying till the end of world and felt like I lost half of myself. However, this thought was not making me feel better, it just made me keep consuming remaining energy level until the cup is empty.

Since then, I realized I cannot be like that forever, I have to move on to my new page instead of being hauled by the past. After separated with my ex bf, I found that I have a lot of rooms for improvement to get myself become better. By change, I received god strength in helping me to fill in my energy cup. He provides me a lot of loving accountable partners in helping me get out of the shadow past, gives me strength in trying out new things, allows me to be a brand new ME. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Isaiah 41:10 When your faith is strengthening, the way you see this world and the things around you is gonna change. When you see deadend, I see opportunities; when you feel hurt, I see recovery; when you feel defeated, I see improvement. No matter under what circumstances, see things in 1/2 full cup, and you will be motivated and know yourself is improving and heading to a positive way.

Tell your heart to beat again

How long have you not felt your heart beating vigorously on someone or something? Can you still remember how great it is when you feel passionate on something, your whole body is filled with energy and satisfaction? Or have you shut your heart down after you get hurt? (I did) And after we shut the door of our heart, we prevent any emotion from walk into our heart, because it is better to feel no emotion than feeling painful in the heart.

There must be a moment when you feel like you are shattered, and your heart is broken into thousands of pieces and you feel so strengthless to pick up all the pieces back to one. Few weeks ago, my heart was in broken pieces, I felt so painful that I cannot even function normally. To make myself feel a little bit better, I stopped my heart from beating, to avoid it to get hurt again. I began to lost interest in many things, lose passion in my work and lose connection with the world. Everyday after work, I rushed back home immediately, shut myself in the room and cried for whole night. I could cry when I took bus back home, I could cry when I was watching comedy, I could cry when I was having dinner. Your tears just came out automatically from your eyes, they are like the blood from the shattered heart. Honestly, it made me feel even worse, because I felt like my whole world was collapsed and I could never go back to be the “happy” me again, I could never love someone and being loved again. But somehow, sadness has an addiction, you just cannot stop yourself from torturing yourself mentally like this and it made you feel like it is the end of the world.

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD” – Psalm 31:24 

By coincidence, I went to a church group on a Monday night and I still remembered the topic that night was “healing night”. At that moment, I realised that I need to be “healed” because my heart was so broken. And I made my prayer again lead by sister J after leaving, I felt my heart is connected when J touched my hand and pray. My heart felt so peaceful and at that time being, I knew that I should not stuck in the past anymore and all I need is to move on a new life, and be a better me. Since then, I start opening my door of heart bit by bit, my heart starts to beat again. When blood is gonna circulate through my body again, I have energy and motive in my life again. I start to put everything pack to pieces again, even better, I want to make it a stronger heart than before. I give my heart to our Father God, let him guide me through my healing process and allow him to live in my heart to give me courage and faith to overcome all the obstacles ahead. Whenever I feel strengthless, I pray that he can give me strength to keep going. He always gives us hope when we feel hopeless, give us courage when we feel weak and embrace us with his love when we feel lonely.

This is my favourite song these days, to anyone whose heart are broken before or now and get your heart BEAT again!

 

“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”

You’re shattered
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

Healthy in mind, Healthy in body

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” – Romans 8:18

When time goes by, you will feel like health, both mentally and physically, is so important in our life. Our mental health will reflect in our physical condition, how healthy you are mentally, how strong you feel physically. We ‘burn’ with anger, ‘tremble’ with fear, feel ‘choked up’ with sadness; our ‘stomachs turn’ with revulsion. Everyone tends to experience unpleasant emotions as unpleasant bodily symptoms and thus to feel physically distressed when emotionally distressed.” That’s why, in order to keep us physically good, we have to deal with our mental health first.

Mental health is often being neglected by most of the people because they always relate mental health to negative things like emotional disorder, depression … However, mental health helps to strengthen our faith in our mind, and drive our physical action. Good mental health can be reflected in positive thinking, self control, strong determination and stress-less feel. When your mind starts to think positively, your body will react by doing constructive action , say exercises, healthy diet, get rid of bad habit because you realize that these things are harmful to your mental health. Of course, these physical action takes a lot of determination and self control, and these control are basically come from your mind. When your mental stage is healthy enough, you can identify good from bad, positive from negative.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  – Isaiah 41:10

 

When your mental stage is unstable, you are putting yourself in danger and continue to dwell in into a stage which all things seem so negative to you. This thinking will reflect in your physical action. Two months ago, when my relationship nearly walked till the end, I felt so strengthless and always so stressful in my mind, I put so much burden in my mind and blame his fault and my fault in the relationship. I started to lose appetite (resulted in losing 2.5kg in two weeks), feel so tired (gave up exercise after work), bad quality of sleep (always had nightmare). My family doctor even suspected me having depressing and worried about my underweight problem will lead to disease. The more you think negatively, the deeper we dwell into a black hole of emotional disorder. I started to lose interest in things happened in my daily life, that I just want to lock myself up and did not want to hang out with people because I felt so tired in doing that. The less people I interacted with, the worse I was becoming because I felt so lonely. I felt so lonely that my ex-bf was not caring about me, people around me are not caring about me and everything just seem so dull and without color.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

Until to a moment when God appears in my life, his glory shined in my heart. I still remember after my first night to Alpha, my heart was so peaceful and calm, which was actually the most peaceful moment that I have ever experienced in the past years. I felt like someone is taking my burden in my mind away, sharing all my bitterness that I experienced. I had a strong feeling in my mind that I should STOP hurting myself like that, everything is not worth it. Since then, I started to pick up regular exercises, writing this blog, reading more books, trying things that I have never tried before and I have good appetite (gain back 2.5kg in 2 weeks!!!) and sleep well now! When my mind starts to think positively, positive changes are happening in my body as well. However, to be honest, during the first week of changing, it is tough because it is the easiest moment for you to give up, and go back to where you were. That is why health mental strength is important that it gives you strength and perseverance to carry out all kinds of physical actions.

How To Have a Healthy Mind?

1. Being active

   Exercising makes you feel good and can help your mental health. It will also help you sleep better, and get the rest you need.

2.  
   

   Lower your alcohol intake

   Over use of alcohol can increase feelings of depression.

   Try not to dwell on past mistakes or negative things that have happened to you. We all make mistakes and stewing on things or worrying to excess will not change anything. Learn from the experience and be willing to move on.

   Be with people you enjoy being with and who make you happy.

3.  
   

   Connecting with friends and family

   Keep communicating and interacting, and tell those you trust how you are feeling if you’re going through tough times. Talking to others and seeking help early can be very helpful in reducing depression, anxiety and distress.

4. Keep learning

   To keep your mind both healthy and active learn a new sport, language, learn to play an instrument, read books and take an active interest in feeding your brain with positive information.

 

 

 

 

Hiding is never a solution

 

In the past, we often did a lot of wrong doings, that we felt so guilty about doing it but we have never confronted all the faults that we have done to ourselves. We always sneaked in a corner and turned ourselves away from all those problems, in the way that we do not have to deal with the problem anymore. However, as long as the problem is still there, we can never escape.

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.” – Romans 14:1

Running away from the problem makes us feel better, because we can prevent ourselves from getting hurt when we have to confront the problem. I have been having some conflicts with my family since secondary school, but then when I moved to hall in university, I avoided direct conflict with them because I could always escape back to hall where I could hide all the problem which actually happened. But things just didnt get better because the problem has been there for years, and then the conflict is just kept rolling bigger. Whenever something irritate me in the relationship, I would get so emotionally unstable and this wound keep affecting me. The reason for that is I always felt like if I escape from all the problems, things might get better. However, the more we hide, the less courage we could have to deal with it. Frankly speaking, it is not a problem which can be fixed in a day or two, it requires me so many energy and faith in doing that.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

When you are failed in one relationship, it actually has impact on another.It is because when you cannot deal good with one side of your emotion, you have high possibility in bring that thought or twisted mind into another relationship, which in turns hurting that relationship too. Change requires a lot of energy that it is not easily being done by one man, we have to give all of ourselves to god and he will guide us the way in making things back to right tract. For all the thing we need to do is to put our faith upon him.God always has his plan, for his people to put their faith on him and let Holy Spirit lives inside everyone of us.

 

Accountable Partner(s)

 

Finding an accountable partner actually is more difficult than find a life long partner. A good accountable partner can help you grow, can make you become matter and most importantly, can make help you strengthen your faith and thoughts and let go of all the negative emotions. It is not just someone whom you love to hang out with, someone who entertain you in your good times, a responsible accountable partner can bring you satisfaction from inside to outside, allowing you to become a better person.

“Be friend with people who are close to your heart, not just physically close to you”

There are a lot of temptation in our life and a lot of people who are “fun” to hang out with. They persuade you to have a crazy night out, forgetting all the sadness happened in your work, seduce you to get addict to a lot of bad habits. However, after that slight moment of happiness, you will even feel more painful than before because the root of the problem remain unfixed. But what “King David was alone the evening that Satan tempted him into adultery with Bathsheba” – (2 Samuel 11). The Bible tells us we fight a war not of flesh but of the spirit, “against powers and spiritual forces who threaten us”-  (Ephesians 6:12).  In the toughest time in your life, there are a lot of devils appear around you, and this is the most vulnerable time that you will fall into the enemies’ trap. Because change in spirit in you heart is tough and we tend to seek an easy way out to temporarily make us relieved. In contrary, your toughest moment in your life maybe a moment when you can restart yourself completely, given that you find good accountable partner(s).

“God can give you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the difficulties”

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” Being the right people around you, surround yourself with accountable people can make you grow faster than you expected. It is because we can share the same goal together and one falls down, the other will bring him/her up. Most importantly, it’s who is close to your heart. There is no one who can understand you more than our Father does, he knows all your past and knows what you are suffering. He listens, and directs you in a way that is good for you. He gives you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the challenges ahead and helps you stay away from all the temptations.“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13).

What is accountability?

Accountability is a helping-each-other-out sort of relationship where we help each other achieve goals by asking the question, “Did you do what you said you would do?” Or in the case of breaking a habit–did you not do what you said you wouldn’t do?With Christian accountability, the goals are often related to our relationship with God and others: doing something (or not doing something) so we can love God and others better.

When you found accountable partner(s), you can feel like it is better than any other friends you have. We work out together, know God together, try something new together and any other things that can make us become a better one. When either one of us are falling out of track, we will use his wisdoms to pull me back on right track. This is how we call good accountable partner(s)!

My favourite verses these days,

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

If you found an accountable partner, he/she is just like a mirror of you!

ForGIVE to forGET

“I forgive what you did”, it may be hardest sentence to be said in the world. Forgiveness is easy to say but hard to do, and it is not just a word to be spoken out, but an act to be felt in your heart. In most of the time, unforgiving a person makes us even feel more tragic because this feeling is gonna hinges on you mentally.

Try to look at the these two words again in this perspective, “for-GIVE” and “for-GET”,

for-Give: Give a chance for your enemies to be forgiven

for-Get: Get a new life and new heart after forgiving someone

First step in giving chance for forgiveness is heart, it requires a lot of mental strength and determination to do so. When someone did so much things to break you down, it is very hard for us to give them the chance to be forgiven.

WHY we are so reluctant to forgive someone?

Because sometimes we wrongly interpret the meaning of “forgiveness”. Many of us, me included, believe that forgiving someone means that we agree with their values and kind of encouraging them to do the wrong things on us again. Since we know that their values are wrong and what they did on us are terrible, we would not give them a chance to be forgiven. However, forgiveness is way more than that. We forgive someone for all the bad things they did on us do not mean that we agree with their behaviour, but learning how to love someone unconditionally.

“To be a christian means to forgive the inexcusable because GOD has forgiven the inexcusable YOU” 

Definitely, it is easier to say it than to work it out. It takes a very strong heart with a good mental strength to truly forgive someone from your heart, not from your mouth. First two weeks after I broke up, I felt so angry and I swore I would never forgive what he did on me. This extreme thinking actually causes much trouble on my mental health, I put so much energy in hating this guy, digging out all his bad doings to me and eventually put myself in a very dangerous situation – emotional breakdown.

“Forgive others not only because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve PEACE”

In recent two weeks, I am getting closer with GOD and receiving more wisdom taught by him. I understand that forgiveness is a powerful act, it can bring your heart to a very peaceful state. “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”            – Col. 3:13. When we have the ability to forgive someone from your heart who bring wounds to us, we are getting to know how to really LOVE yourself in a good way. And after that, all the negative emotions will vanish and good things can enter into our heart eventually. he Lord says, “Forget what happened before and do not think about the past. I am going to do something new… I will make rivers on dry land.” Isaiah 43:18-19 (GW)