Let Go Of Your Feeling

Hang on to a balloon, when you would prefer to see it in the sky, and it’s obvious that you are not going to get what you want. Imagine yourself holding a urchin with bare hands, and you do not want to let go of the yummy urchin. The harder you hold, the more injured your hand is. Sometimes we are so stubborn to let go of our feelings and thoughts, which in terms create more pain in our heart.

Letting go pain in your life does not mean that you have to erase the memory, in contrary, you should confront the situation. Forgetting all the pain does not mean that you have overcome the difficult situation, instead you are still being hauled by that feeling. You escape from facing the problem because you know that the pain still can make you feel devastated. Some of us will turn the pain into other emotions like anger or grief to make ourselves feel better, in such a case that the problem is thrown to him/her, and I can forever be the victim. However, these emotions will cloud our mind and hinder us from recovery. Before I was so mad at my ex bf of doing a lot of terrible things to me, which I cannot even accept how he can react like this and broke all the promises. I felt heart broken and felt so mad whenever I thought of him and the words that he said to me. However, since yesterday, after I found out that we are disconnected spiritually [please refer to my previous article Connection], I suddenly had a feeling that I should completely let go of this person. Even if he come back to me, I would never ever be together with him because we are a mismatch.

By realising such a mismatch, I started to forgive what he did, not because I agreed with what he did, but because those acts mean nothing to me already. There is no point that I should feel mad towards a man who did not understand you. Before I was holding too hard, causing much pain in my heart and made myself so much wounds. When you release something, it is no longer in your grasp. When you’ve thrown a ball, you expect it to travel in the direction in which it was propelled. Furthermore, you are aware that there is nothing more that you can do to help its journey toward its destination. How well you formulate your intention can be likened to how well you throw a ball; if you do so well, it is likely to go exactly where you want. Nonetheless, it will not go anywhere if you continue to hold it in your hand.When you can truly let go of the situation, my heart is so relieved and I do not feel pain whenever I think about him because it is a proof that I have moved forward to pursue my fruitful and promising future.

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice”.- Ephesians 4:31

Accountable Partner(s)

 

Finding an accountable partner actually is more difficult than find a life long partner. A good accountable partner can help you grow, can make you become matter and most importantly, can make help you strengthen your faith and thoughts and let go of all the negative emotions. It is not just someone whom you love to hang out with, someone who entertain you in your good times, a responsible accountable partner can bring you satisfaction from inside to outside, allowing you to become a better person.

“Be friend with people who are close to your heart, not just physically close to you”

There are a lot of temptation in our life and a lot of people who are “fun” to hang out with. They persuade you to have a crazy night out, forgetting all the sadness happened in your work, seduce you to get addict to a lot of bad habits. However, after that slight moment of happiness, you will even feel more painful than before because the root of the problem remain unfixed. But what “King David was alone the evening that Satan tempted him into adultery with Bathsheba” – (2 Samuel 11). The Bible tells us we fight a war not of flesh but of the spirit, “against powers and spiritual forces who threaten us”-  (Ephesians 6:12).  In the toughest time in your life, there are a lot of devils appear around you, and this is the most vulnerable time that you will fall into the enemies’ trap. Because change in spirit in you heart is tough and we tend to seek an easy way out to temporarily make us relieved. In contrary, your toughest moment in your life maybe a moment when you can restart yourself completely, given that you find good accountable partner(s).

“God can give you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the difficulties”

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” Being the right people around you, surround yourself with accountable people can make you grow faster than you expected. It is because we can share the same goal together and one falls down, the other will bring him/her up. Most importantly, it’s who is close to your heart. There is no one who can understand you more than our Father does, he knows all your past and knows what you are suffering. He listens, and directs you in a way that is good for you. He gives you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the challenges ahead and helps you stay away from all the temptations.“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13).

What is accountability?

Accountability is a helping-each-other-out sort of relationship where we help each other achieve goals by asking the question, “Did you do what you said you would do?” Or in the case of breaking a habit–did you not do what you said you wouldn’t do?With Christian accountability, the goals are often related to our relationship with God and others: doing something (or not doing something) so we can love God and others better.

When you found accountable partner(s), you can feel like it is better than any other friends you have. We work out together, know God together, try something new together and any other things that can make us become a better one. When either one of us are falling out of track, we will use his wisdoms to pull me back on right track. This is how we call good accountable partner(s)!

My favourite verses these days,

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

If you found an accountable partner, he/she is just like a mirror of you!

ForGIVE to forGET

“I forgive what you did”, it may be hardest sentence to be said in the world. Forgiveness is easy to say but hard to do, and it is not just a word to be spoken out, but an act to be felt in your heart. In most of the time, unforgiving a person makes us even feel more tragic because this feeling is gonna hinges on you mentally.

Try to look at the these two words again in this perspective, “for-GIVE” and “for-GET”,

for-Give: Give a chance for your enemies to be forgiven

for-Get: Get a new life and new heart after forgiving someone

First step in giving chance for forgiveness is heart, it requires a lot of mental strength and determination to do so. When someone did so much things to break you down, it is very hard for us to give them the chance to be forgiven.

WHY we are so reluctant to forgive someone?

Because sometimes we wrongly interpret the meaning of “forgiveness”. Many of us, me included, believe that forgiving someone means that we agree with their values and kind of encouraging them to do the wrong things on us again. Since we know that their values are wrong and what they did on us are terrible, we would not give them a chance to be forgiven. However, forgiveness is way more than that. We forgive someone for all the bad things they did on us do not mean that we agree with their behaviour, but learning how to love someone unconditionally.

“To be a christian means to forgive the inexcusable because GOD has forgiven the inexcusable YOU” 

Definitely, it is easier to say it than to work it out. It takes a very strong heart with a good mental strength to truly forgive someone from your heart, not from your mouth. First two weeks after I broke up, I felt so angry and I swore I would never forgive what he did on me. This extreme thinking actually causes much trouble on my mental health, I put so much energy in hating this guy, digging out all his bad doings to me and eventually put myself in a very dangerous situation – emotional breakdown.

“Forgive others not only because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve PEACE”

In recent two weeks, I am getting closer with GOD and receiving more wisdom taught by him. I understand that forgiveness is a powerful act, it can bring your heart to a very peaceful state. “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”            – Col. 3:13. When we have the ability to forgive someone from your heart who bring wounds to us, we are getting to know how to really LOVE yourself in a good way. And after that, all the negative emotions will vanish and good things can enter into our heart eventually. he Lord says, “Forget what happened before and do not think about the past. I am going to do something new… I will make rivers on dry land.” Isaiah 43:18-19 (GW)

Quality Time, Quality People, Quality Life

“Stop Spending Quality Time With Unqualified People”

Everyone have different interpretation about “quality time”, and I believe there are a lot of people think that they have quality time with quality people, but it turns out their life are so pathetic and empty. Most of them quantify quality life with physical assets, believing themselves living in a quality life with all sorts of enjoyment. Quality life composes of a lot of elements but never will physical enjoyment be one of the factor.

“Quality People leads to quality time, resulting quality life”

There is no hard definition about what is “Quality Time”, but for one thing that I can sure about is that quality time is something to make your inner side feel spiritually rich. Before you can achieve a quality life, quality time is a prerequisite factor which is driven but a catalyst “Quality People”

Who are “Quality people”? 

In nowadays society, it is easy for us the equalise “quality” this word with “money” and “wealth”.That segment of people are very materialistic, they think that they spend time with someone who are useful in their career is the quality time because they can bring them physical enjoyment and increase their social status. After they successfully pursue wealth and fame, many of them feel so empty in their heart, maybe even more empty than before. “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5. God is the most qualified people to stay in our life because he gives us faith, holds us back from sin and makes us feel rich. Give yourself to god and you can receive all the wisdom, which can fill our heart with blessings and faith.

“Before I used to be afraid of being alone. Now, I’m afraid of having the wrong people as company”

Quality people are someone who can let you grow, strengthen your faith, walk in the same pace as you and also with God. They can walk through difficult path with you, bring positive influence over you, and most importantly, make your inner self spiritually rich. When you are spiritually rich, there is nothing in this world can attack you, and never will you surrender to temptation from evil. Even when you are staying alone, you feel yourself so satisfied because we are rich from inside to outside. In contrary, when you stay with unqualified people, they will inculcate wrong values to your soul, make yourself diminishing and ultimately make you feel even emptier than before as the darkness will  encroach ourselves from outside to inside.

When you are wise enough to choose your “quality company”, it is not difficult for you to have quality time. Because whenever you are with these quality people, you are having quality time. Quality time is the simplest love language in a relationship with your loved ones and most importantly – YOURSELF.