Live Your Dreams

” A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grow there”

The one who cannot step out of their comfort zone, living a life without dream and passion which is called mentally dead, which is even more terrible than the one who is physically dead. Some of them always do not believe that they can change their destiny with a lot of different reasons, and surprisingly they can sit here for an hour and list out all the reasons why they cannot take challenge and change.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning” 

People always believe that they will be failed before they even get started, it is like before you run the race, you think that you will lose and you don’t get it started.  Even though you run slow, if you start your first step, you will run to the finishing point one day. However, if you never start your first step, no matter how many years later, you are only still standing at the starting point but the people around you are already steps ahead you. Sometimes you do not know what will happen ahead after you step out your first step, but these experiences can help us to build a better self and we can learn from it. If you always stand on your original spot, you can never gain any experience or understand more about yourself. The fear inside you soul, the hesitation to try will hinder you from being successful.

“As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning”

It is also very interesting to see people believe strongly that they are going to fail before they actually get started. If they have faith in believing that they are not gonna succeed, why can’t they put faith in believing that they are going to succeed? It is also stated in a research that people are generally taking negative comments than positive ones because of insecurity. When you use the time on questioning yourself to make things happen, you are gonna be successful very soon. Successful is not as far as you imagine when you are determined to start. If you are determined to step out of your comfort zone, you are many steps closer to the goal of success.

“Follow the dreams, they know the way”

Lately, after I get in touch with a lot of people, I realized that for people who are looking for change and chance, they will open their ears to anything that can make them better. However, some of them want to try a new route, but their partners, friends and family just discourage them from trying. They cannot stand firm on their belief and easily being discouraged by negative comments, which lead them back off from the try. After seeing all the successful person in the history and the one around me, I realized that in order to success, you have great determination on what you belief and just go for your dreams. disney park is built after Walt Disney died, someone said it is so pathetic that he cannot witness his dream to be built. But Walt Disney said “I can already see Disney Park in my mind” when he was still alive. It is difficult to explain your dream to others, because they are not gonna agree with you or cannot see what they see. But always bare in mind that, it is important for us to see what we dream in our mind, and that is what it matters. It is because when you can see your dreams in your head, the people around you who have dreams will be influenced by you, so never stop dreaming.

 

 

Motivation needs a spark

 

“The strongest enemy in your life that hinder you from change is you”

How many times we are so passionate in making a change in our mind, but little chance that we have brought that into action. We have fantasy picture in our mind, thinking that if I have done this, I would have blah blah blah.However, in all these time, we are in lack of a spark to bring our thoughts into action. It is because the strongest enemy in your life that hinder you from changes is you, if you can step out of your comfort zone, you can start to change.

“The greatest hold up to your healing of your hang up is you”

We always have a lot of things that we are planned to do, for example, learn something new, expand our social circle, pick up a new habit. We know that these things are good to ourselves and we “want ” to make a change. However, take these thoughts into action require a spark, which provides you enough determination and strength to make a difference. I have been thinking to start a fitness-Instagram page for months, because being fit becomes my passion and I want to motivate people around me to stay healthy and fit. During these months, I cannot take this thought into actions because maintaining a page is sort of tiring, and requires you a lot of energy. Until this week, I realized that my befit journey actually can influence people around me to pick up their fitness journey, and some of my friends message me and asked where can I gym, how can I lose weight. Even more, one of the studio re-posted my workout photo in their Instagram page, and at that moment, I felt like what I am doing is worth it and actually can make a difference to myself and to others. Although I am not qualified to say that I am a professional trainer, I feel so satisfied about my gradual change physically and mentally. You do not have to compete with others about how far you go, because you are the only one you should be responsible for, not others. Until yesterday, I summoned up my courage, I opened a fitness Instagram for myself. I do not know if I can be successful in maintaining the page, but I know that if I do not try, I can never succeed. No matter what the result is, at least I tried and paid effort, I will not feel regret in the future of not doing that.

“No amount of darkness can hide a spark of light”

Sometimes, a spark in the darkness can light up the sky and give you direction about where you should go because with a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame. Whenever you get the spark and hold on to it, it is easier for you to follow the sign of light of your journey. The beginning is the hardest part because you have no idea about where to start. Bu when you have started, the rest become easy as you know the direction of where to go. But before that, find your spark, find the passion in your life that can keep you growing and glowing. A spark can come from the people around you , the places that you have been to or the message that you have read. The more you get in touch with various things, there are more sources of spark that you can explore. Trust yourself, and trust our Father will guide us the way that we want to go, he can give us strength and faith if we put our trust on him. John 8:12-  Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”

 

 

Connection

 

So, you’ve been dating for a while now. Things have been going great. You’ve laughed together. You’ve had some lengthy conversations. You have plenty in common. You’re both very attracted to each other. You think the world of each other.And yet— something isn’t clicking. You just can’t put your finger on what’s wrong. On paper it’s a match made in heaven. Still, something is just not right. What you may be missing is spiritual connection.

“We often stuck in a relationship because we are unable to let go”

When two people come together, at first they may attract each other by appearance or other sorts of things. They feel excited and fun, and they do love each other. At first, you However, you can always feel that something is missing or falling apart because you two do not have the “click” feeling. The time you spent with him is long but it is not unique; The conversation is lengthy but not deep. You like to be with him, having fun with him but you feel like he does not understand you. At first, you won’t realize that it is a big problem because you believe you can overcome this by LOVE. However, when time goes by, you realized you are not really be in the relationship and feel yourself a bit disconnected from it. In order to keep the relationship going, we will try so hard to get the “click” feeling with your spouse. The more you do, the more you realize that you two are so different.And no matter how much you do, you still cannot click into the mind, click into the soul. When two people are not spiritually connected, let alone how many efforts you paid, you cannot get the “click” feeling. To be honest, being with a person whom you are not spiritually connected with is worse than being single. Even worse, you realize that he is not the one who can share the soul with you, but you still choose to stay with him because you are not able to let go.

Sometimes we allow reason to cloud our judgment so that we are unable to become aware of our true feelings. When we be with a wrong person in a relationship,  in every second, you try to convince yourself that maybe we can click someday or it is okay that we can be lovers but not soulmates. However, from my experience, it is not gonna work. In my past relationship, I would say me and him were actually never clicked spiritually and I did not feel like he really did understand me and accept me for who I am. When I shared some deeper feelings with him, he just did not understand and hardly could we have a deeper conversation. And then, I would not talk about that topic again with him because he could not give me a constructive response. Since then, I realized that we had so many things uncommon, different values and thoughts. I started to avoid sharing these topics with him and that was the moment I started to feel we are so far away spiritually. To describe our relationship, I would say, we were the closest stranger. I was stuck in the relationship for long time as I felt like he loved me and he was good to me, and that was everything that it mattered. Until a friend of mine asked, if he is not your boyfriend, will he be your soulmate/best friend. The answer is, no. This is a very good question to think about whether you two are right person to each other and if this relationship can be fruitful.

When two person are spiritually connected together, the feeling is great, even better, you no longer feel empty in your life because he fills every part of you. If both of you are clicked, you do not need to explain things or feelings by words, because you get his/her understanding already. It is just like jigsaw puzzle, you can feel you two are exactly connected and you two complete each others’ life. With this feeling, you feel like your inside is strengthening and growing big together with your partner. LOVE will fade and loss its passion, but if you two are spiritually connected together, the relationship will be long lasting and fruitful in your life as ⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. ¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! ¹¹ Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? ¹² And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

 

Is the glass half empty or half full?

The expression “Is the glass half-full or half-empty?..” has for many years highlighted the tendency for two people to see the same situation in different ways. Which way you see the water level reach reflects what is your attitude towards things. Yet, for most of us, we see things in permissive way, we only see the cup is 1/2 empty instead of it is 1/2 full.

Imagine the cup is our energy, when you feel like you cup is 1/2 empty that your energy is halved in this case, you will feel yourself so tired to do anything because you are focus at the consumption of energy and you are diminishing. In contrary, when you feel like the cup is 1/2 full, you see the space to be filled with energy. In such case, you can see that yourself is getting better and growing stronger. The way of thinking actually affect what action we take. After I just broke up, it really seemed like the end of world for me and I was so reluctant to do anything. I just wanted to stay alone and lock myself in my own world and crying till the end of world and felt like I lost half of myself. However, this thought was not making me feel better, it just made me keep consuming remaining energy level until the cup is empty.

Since then, I realized I cannot be like that forever, I have to move on to my new page instead of being hauled by the past. After separated with my ex bf, I found that I have a lot of rooms for improvement to get myself become better. By change, I received god strength in helping me to fill in my energy cup. He provides me a lot of loving accountable partners in helping me get out of the shadow past, gives me strength in trying out new things, allows me to be a brand new ME. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”-Isaiah 41:10 When your faith is strengthening, the way you see this world and the things around you is gonna change. When you see deadend, I see opportunities; when you feel hurt, I see recovery; when you feel defeated, I see improvement. No matter under what circumstances, see things in 1/2 full cup, and you will be motivated and know yourself is improving and heading to a positive way.

Influential Power

We, human being, are easily being affected by things happened around us, no matter it is good or bad. If we can make use of the influential power in a group, the positive energy in the group will power up; instead, if one of the people start spreading permissive message, the negative energy will also be spread around the group and causing the group spirit drops exponentially.

“Who you are with defines who you are” 

That is why our parents are so worried about the people who are around us, when you are with people who possess bad habits,  we have high chance in getting that bad habit too. Who you are with define who you are, it may not be true all the time, but it is a factual statement in most cases. When your friend circle is filled with people who like partying, having complicated relationship and crazy drinking habits, there is higher possibility for you to get into these habits. First, you have higher chance in knowing the existence of these habits, and in order to blend into the circle, you will try your first step in those activities. Sooner or later, the more you go to those activities, the easier you will get used to it and the less likely that you can get rid of those bad habits.

“Surround yourself with quality people can make you stronger”

Especially when you are choosing spouse, it is pretty important to observe his surrounding people, as like attracts each other, in order to be in the same circle, they must have basic common grounds to keep them together in the same circle. Also, when you observe his friend’s circle, you can better analyze what type of person he is in accordance to his criteria in choosing friends.This is an important factor which I have overlooked in my past relationship. Sometimes people can use words to cover their inner broken self, but action speaks louder than words, and it simply reflects what you think in your heart. In my past relationship, my ex bf friend circle is filled with party guys with complicated relationships, they always went crazy drinking and flirted with different girls. Even though he was not doing this, but his value would be easily being affected by his friend circle. One time he told me “I am already so good to you, I spend time with you every week. My friends always went partying and hooking up with few girls at a time, I think I am so good already”. I was like, isn’t it just basic commitment in a relationship, why you even put that on the table? The quality (especially mental quality) of the surrounding people is so important, in a a way that they will lift you up or pull you down.

When people of the same group are moving in the same direction, having the same goal, encouraging each other, it gonna pull everyone in the group up. Even if one of them is feeling permissive, he/she can be influenced by this positive energy and react positively. Instead, if some of the people in the group are easily give up and spread out negative message, these can affect the energy in the group and discourage the other people to react positively. A good accountable group can double up the power, whereas a bad accountable group can halve things down.

Accountable Partner(s)

 

Finding an accountable partner actually is more difficult than find a life long partner. A good accountable partner can help you grow, can make you become matter and most importantly, can make help you strengthen your faith and thoughts and let go of all the negative emotions. It is not just someone whom you love to hang out with, someone who entertain you in your good times, a responsible accountable partner can bring you satisfaction from inside to outside, allowing you to become a better person.

“Be friend with people who are close to your heart, not just physically close to you”

There are a lot of temptation in our life and a lot of people who are “fun” to hang out with. They persuade you to have a crazy night out, forgetting all the sadness happened in your work, seduce you to get addict to a lot of bad habits. However, after that slight moment of happiness, you will even feel more painful than before because the root of the problem remain unfixed. But what “King David was alone the evening that Satan tempted him into adultery with Bathsheba” – (2 Samuel 11). The Bible tells us we fight a war not of flesh but of the spirit, “against powers and spiritual forces who threaten us”-  (Ephesians 6:12).  In the toughest time in your life, there are a lot of devils appear around you, and this is the most vulnerable time that you will fall into the enemies’ trap. Because change in spirit in you heart is tough and we tend to seek an easy way out to temporarily make us relieved. In contrary, your toughest moment in your life maybe a moment when you can restart yourself completely, given that you find good accountable partner(s).

“God can give you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the difficulties”

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” Being the right people around you, surround yourself with accountable people can make you grow faster than you expected. It is because we can share the same goal together and one falls down, the other will bring him/her up. Most importantly, it’s who is close to your heart. There is no one who can understand you more than our Father does, he knows all your past and knows what you are suffering. He listens, and directs you in a way that is good for you. He gives you a strong and faithful heart to overcome all the challenges ahead and helps you stay away from all the temptations.“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13).

What is accountability?

Accountability is a helping-each-other-out sort of relationship where we help each other achieve goals by asking the question, “Did you do what you said you would do?” Or in the case of breaking a habit–did you not do what you said you wouldn’t do?With Christian accountability, the goals are often related to our relationship with God and others: doing something (or not doing something) so we can love God and others better.

When you found accountable partner(s), you can feel like it is better than any other friends you have. We work out together, know God together, try something new together and any other things that can make us become a better one. When either one of us are falling out of track, we will use his wisdoms to pull me back on right track. This is how we call good accountable partner(s)!

My favourite verses these days,

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12New International Version (NIV)

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

If you found an accountable partner, he/she is just like a mirror of you!

Action speaks louder than words

Beautiful words are attractive, and sometimes clouded our eyes and our heart. “I Love You” is such a powerful sentence but how many people can really live up to the meaning of that? It is not difficult for us to say a hundred times of “I Love You”, but it is difficult for us to carry out every action to show that “I Love You”.

With the invention of different App (e.g. Facebook, whatsapp…), people tend to share many of their thoughts and feeling in this virtual platform without a concrete physical connection with people. We become so afraid to express love to the person we care in face and so worried about speaking up for our opinions in public. There are a lot of people, shared a lot of articles and their points of view in social media, expressing how disappointing we are to the society but how many of us really take our belief into action? Influencing power is not only consist of powerful words, what’s more important is what you are doing to fight for what you believe. Action speaks louder than words, people always “tell” people what they want to do, but not many of them can bring them into action.

“Influencing power starts by building your behaviour”

In order to bring influences to others, we should start to change our own behaviour first. Think about when you ask people not to play phone during dinner, but you keep looking at your phone and upload different posts, how convincing does it sound like? Nobody is gonna follow what you said. Instead, if we are responsible for our own action, people around you can feel your change and start to follow you. Maybe it doesn’t work for one time, but eventually if our positive behaviour is consistent, people around you will listen to you one day. Your action is actually more influencing than what you speak, people will be impressed if you are behaving in a good way. Who don’t want to be better off, if they see what you are doing can make themselves be a better person, I guess everyone will take a lead to change.

“Change needs action ” 

Change of behaviour takes courage and determination, when your faith is not sufficient, your action will not be consistent. One month ago, by coincidence, I bumped into an old friend S, whom we actually have not been contacted for a year. My friend and I were quite interested where her positive energy came from and why she could always be so energetic. Especially during the low time in my life, at that moment, I really do need some positive energy to influence my life. And then she shared a little about her faith journey with God and her community in church that brought her energy and faith. She invited me and my friend to Alpha to have a look, to understand more about christianity and receive blessing from God. At that time, I would give myself any chance to make myself move on from the darkness and I felt like it is not bad to give it a try. Since then, my connection with God is kept strengthening.

“You can change anything if your faith is strong enough”

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” – James 4:7.This belief made me realise a lot of cracks that happened in my life, which is far more than I imagined. And in order to heal those cracks, we have to throw away our old bad habit and pick up new one. In these two to three weeks, I really do take away many of my old habits and replace them with new ones. In the past, I filled my leisure time with having dinner with my friends after work, finding people to drink on friday night or weekend, watching different dramas which are no value-added to me. True, these activities can bring instant enjoyment or happiness to me, but after a period of time, we feel even emptier and lonelier. Why I felt like that before? The reason is we are so empty inside and there is no faith and determination to keep us feel rich inside. In order to move on and get myself to become a better one,  I start to pick up regular exercises every week after work, cut off alcohol and those drinking parties, read more books, go to church and write blog everyday. Surprisingly, these changes make me to become positive in mind and I become so peaceful at my alone time. Many of my friends are so surprised that why I did not go out for partying or have a chill drink after work, and then they asked about the reason behind. I understood that those enjoyment are not helping me in my healing journey, instead, they will make me even more painful. And what driven me to be such determined, it’s my faith on God. Without him, I am not sure if I can really persist for so long because CHANGE need a lot of strength, it is something easier to say but hundred times difficult to do it.

“Change by changing yourself first”

When you are living up to what you said, your action can actually influence the people around you. Instead of “telling” people around you what is christianity, how about we strengthen ourselves with strong faith and positive mind first, the real changes by your action speaks louder than you fancy beautiful words for thousands of time. When you can influence your friend, then your friend will pass the message to others, and one follow by one till the message and wisdom is spread in spider-net. Don’t under estimate your influencing power, cause when spider webs unit, they can tie up a lion!